I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
