with your own penis?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
