i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
