I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
