While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
