i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
