So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
