it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
