i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
