Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
