It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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