Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
