so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
