just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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