with your own penis?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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