I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
