He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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