She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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