PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
