whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
