Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize