I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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