Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
