If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
