We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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