I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
