shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
