forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
