dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
