Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
