Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
