I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
