If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
