I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
