I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
