my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
