I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
