If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
