Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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