I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize