there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize