I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
