Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
