Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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