in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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