His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
