So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Randomize
