ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
