Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
