At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
