I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
