We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
