Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
