Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
