i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
