We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
