Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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