Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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