the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im holly from the hills drunk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
