recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize