she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
