wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
