if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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