New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Randomize
