I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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