just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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