she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
