we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
